What an insult

Tonight's quotable examples of the art of the insult:

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
– Winston Churchill


“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
– Clarence Darrow


“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
– William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)


”I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
– Groucho Marx


“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
– Mark Twain


”I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend if you have one.”
– George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second….. if there is one.”
– Winston Churchill to Shaw, in response


”I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”
– Stephen Bishop


“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
– John Bright


“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial”
– Irvin S. Cobb


"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
– Samuel Johnson


“He had delusions of adequacy.”
– Walter Kerr


“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
– Oscar Wilde


Woman, to Churchill: “If you were my husband, I’d give you poison.”

Churchill: “If you were my wife, madam, I’d take it.”